What is the difference between a true Spiritual Healing and a Spiritual By-Pass? I use the term so often when I speak that it has become the number one question I'm asked. What is it?
Quite simply, it's when we gloss over a powerful upset in our lives with God and avoid the true spiritual healing available in any given situation. It's when we skip the vital step of healing and just get into the higher consciousness of something. But what about our process?
My favorite explanation of this came at a spiritual healing conference years ago. The entire staff was made up of volunteers, and they were all eager to support important work. These kinds of events always attract the few who are holding a walkie-talkie for the first time in their lives and love playing the role. You know who I mean...the nice mild mannered person who, once possessing a small communication device, suddenly becomes an expert on how things are done.
As I was standing at the counter waiting to buy my ticket, someone brushed past me to the rumpled man who appeared to be in charge.
"You have to stop Maurice," the woman blurted. Her desperation was palpable.
"What's he doing?" the calm man replied.
"He's out in the parking lot with his walkie talkie, screaming at someone who didn't park a car the way he directed."
After another minute of her explanation of this 'power hungry ogre' (her words), trying to stack cars like the seating at Disneyland, the man chuckled.
"Well, we're not all here because we're balanced people."
This did not sit well with the distraught woman who felt her needs were being dismissed.
And I will say that the people I was with felt the same way in that moment. But wait. What if he WAS right? What if that woman needed to be ignored in that moment for her healing? What if Maurice needed to get go angry in the parking lot that he made a fool of himself? What if the person he had yelled at had not taken direction well his entire life?
What if the truth was that we must let others have the dignity of their process, what if that is the only true spiritual healing? And so here I am years later, still recalling this incident and using the term spiritual by-pass.
Let me take you through what I feel is a true spiritual healing process and NOT a by-pass.
During one of my ongoing intention workshops, Jeff came into our weekly meeting distraught. He spoke first and shared that he had just come from coffee with someone in the industry who had read his material and the feedback was our teammate was a great writer. But the man went on to say that Jeff had a reputation for being pushy and needy and felt that Jeff wouldn't get the job he was up for because of this.
The shock set through the group like a windstorm.
"What??? How could anyone say that?"
"That's wrong!"
"Ignore it."
"Pray for him."
I sat listening and observing the group. I am quite talkative, so for me to be silent was very noticeable and within a few minutes everyone turned to me.
I shrugged, "Is it true?"
The near mutiny began. How could I say that? Wasn't I on his side? Where was my spiritual solution?
I waved my arms, "Wait. I just want to know from Jeff if he feels that he is pushy and needy." I leaned in toward Jeff who was very caught in the anger of the indignity he had just experienced.
His nod was painful. "I think it is."
"I know how you feel," I assured him. "When people tell me painful truths about myself, I react the same way."
The topic became quickly to pray for the other person, and know that the man didn't realize he was hurting Jeff.
This was the first time I said it aloud, "That would be a spiritual bypass. We would be supporting Jeff in bypassing an opportunity for true spiritual healing and growth. We can get to praying for the other person soon enough, but let's support Jeff in transforming and healing this moment."
And that is what we did. The topic that night became what to do when we receive painful feedback, or harsh criticism. I suggest these three steps.
- Try to disassociate your worth from the feedback.
- Ask yourself: Am I afraid of not getting what I want or losing what I have?
- What is at stake if I let go of this?
What is at stake is our pride, or ego, which is in the way of true spiritual healing
and find our authentic self and connection to spirit.
Ironically, Jeff had started that evening with commenting that he needed a Business Blessing Intention Candle from me, but I wasn't so sure. By the end of the evening, he determined that setting an intention to Heal was far more powerful.
We determined that a Healing Intention Candle was far more supportive and offered him suggestions on ways to set an intention to heal.
Ironically, thought owning the truth of the feedback, and standing in the intention of Healing, Jeff was able to go back to his contact later and thank him for the valuable feedback. The man was so taken aback by Jeff's turnaround that he recommended Jeff for a job, which he was later hired for.
Setting an intention to Heal can be the most powerful spiritual step we take. One client came to me because she really wanted to be in a relationship, but instead decided to heal her wounds using the Healing Intention Candle. When she was ready, she purchased the Divine Love Intention Candle and less than a month later she met the man she would later marry.
Take the time to heal. Give yourself the gift of honestly clearing the debris in your life.
See you in November!
You can read more about the Healing Intention Candle on Tori's website at
www.torihartman.com
