This month, I'm covering the idea of non-verbal communication in the interview process.
Actually, our editor-in chief at Blessed Gardens, Tori Hartman, has a New Job Intention Candle in her collection,
which made me wonder about the whole idea of our intention and the silent messages others receive when we seek work.
Let's begin with the practical perspective. Body language is a large part of any meeting, but when I began the research,
I was astounded to find some profound facts. In a recent study -- the non-verbal communication in the interview process
was the highest-ranking influence in a first meeting. Body language itself was 55% more important when compared to voice,
which was only 33% and words, which only came in at 7%! Now you see why sending positive vibes, isn't only vital,
it might just win you the job!
This information is nothing new, not when you consider that Tony Robbins made us aware of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming)
in the early 1980's. By definition NLP is the manner in which our bodies form ecology of complex systems and subsystems
that interact with and influence each other. While there are many facets to NLP the one we're going to focus on for
non-verbal communication in the interview process is building rapport. When two individuals have a rapport they have
entered the other's world and can fully understand each other, thus forming a bond.
Rapport tends to happen between individuals anyway over time. However, with seeking a new job or during a first meeting
with a client, you might not have the luxury of a second time. The quickest way to spontaneous rapport is through mirroring
or matching. Although the two have different definitions, both are equally effective and so similar they can be used
interchangeably. Here's how to stimulate the non-verbal communication in the interview process to create instant rapport.
Mirroring -- if the person interviewing you were to raise his or her left hand you would simply mirror this action when it
was your turn to speak by raising your right hand. Mirroring should also be done with voice and words as well. Watch vocal
tone too, if they speak slowly, YOU speak at the same tempo.
Matching -- And don't overlook the way they cross their legs -- it's equally effective if they have sat in a particular way
and then they shift into another position, you can match the position they were just in, stay there for a moment and then
change to the new position. Matching makes the other person feel comfortable with you and how you carry yourself.
Whether you are matching or mirroring, your movements should be subtle and natural. Unless you are glaringly obvious,
the interviewer will not be able to tell what you are doing. One caveat here: if the interview is going badly and the
person is shifting, do not follow them. They may not like you and be trying to escape from you and in this case; you can
make them very uncomfortable.
To bring the rapport back to a neutral zone, just sit in a position you saw them in earlier when they appeared relaxed with
you. This may lead them back into the same position as they relax with you.
This may appear to be unnatural, but the fact is, if you look around at groups of people who are close -- they do mirror
each other in bodily movements, the way they speak, and the words they use.
Mirroring or matching is something that happens naturally. It just so happens that when you take this concept and use it
with everyone, you begin to make complete strangers feel more comfortable with you. When you build rapport with anyone,
you do begin to see and feel his or her view, so in essence, it is actually a very loving and empowering thing to do.
It is important to remember that when you are mirroring you can become easily influenced by the views of the person you are
communicating with. Before you make any important decisions or deals, be sure to go into 'mis-match' mode. This is when you
break the matching or mirroring state you are in simply by standing (if the both of you are sitting) or looking away and
perhaps swooshing at a pretend fly.
Non-verbal communication in the interview process is key to forming a trusting relationship with a prospective employer or
anyone you are interviewing. Once a relationship has formed and trust has been established, you can then move on to show
your skills and experience for the job you are applying for.
For further information about NLP and the powerful training available in this work,
click here to visit Anthony Robbins companies.
